Early this morning, I went into the lab in the R&D department to check on how Miss Treesparkle was doing on her first day of work. She was busy sketching at the drawing board and I walked over to speak to her when all of the sudden I heard the most horrendous noise and felt a warm liquid hit me square in the back like someone had just hit me with a water balloon.
Someone behind me yelled, "Sorry, Mr. Miffletins!" It was Sylvester Poodleflatch. He was working on a new doll, "Baby Upset Tummy." It happened to be chocolate milk, which was easy enough to clean up, but then Baby Upset Tummy started making weird electronic noises and she started saying, "My tummy hurts," over and over and over again, each time getting incrementally higher in pitch and volume. That was freaky enough, but then her head started spinning, and, well, have you ever seen one of those rotating sprinkler heads? Yeah. Chocolate milk ALL OVER THE OFFICE. So many blueprints were ruined....Ugh. Mr. Poodleflatch was very apologetic, but I tell ya - that was not the best start to the day!
Since I didn't have an extra uniform lying around, I went out to my car to head back home to change (it is NOT fun to walk outside up here in wet clothes - even a little wet!) when I saw that my little mini Smart Car was in the fist of an enraged abominable snowman. What next? I thought. So, I got out my cell phone to call animal control when I saw the beast pick up another car - this one had two elves inside! He started shaking it like a maraca - I guess he was expecting them to fall out somewhere. So I hurried and told animal control what was going on and they said that they would send help ASAP.
I was obviously ill-equipped, so I just used myself as a decoy and started throwing snowballs at him. He dropped both cars and started running toward me.
I started running as fast as I could. Then I noticed another elf carrying some snow skis approaching me (obviously oblivious to the crisis). Then I had a flash of brilliance. I ripped the skis out of his hands and he ran in the opposite direction. The yeti, however, had a score to settle, and was still hot on my trail. I ran for the west gate toward the coast where I "vandalized" the iceberg. Once I saw that we were out of the gate, I quickly strapped on my skis and jetted down the hill toward the cliff with the iceberg in sight.
All that skijumping practice really helped, because I was able to race down the hill to the edge of the cliff and coast through the air - clearing the gap between the cliff and the giant iceberg, floating off shore. It was glorious! I landed on the iceberg with the greatest of ease. I turned just in time to see the yeti trip, tumble, and roll down the hill. As he did so, he became a giant snow ball himself and rolled right off the cliff and into the sea! (And I thought I was cold and wet!)
It took another ten minutes before Animal Control arrived. All they did was briefly look for the abominable snowman, but he was long gone. Then it took another 45 minutes before I could get rescued from the iceberg. Yeesh. That threw my whole day's schedule off - and I was still cold and wet from that chocolate milk!
As for the elves in the car-maraca, they were okay. They saw Dr. Picklejinx at the ER and were cleared to go home with some minor bumps and bruises.
Well, I took the rest of the day off for "mental wellness" and am now sitting in front of the fire place in my easy chair with my laptop on the top of my lap...obviously... I'm sipping some Cup O' Noodles and just going to relax today. No more bad luck for me.
Later, skaters.
Fritz
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