Reindeer Macarena, PETA, and Santa's Office

   Woe is me. I saw Mintchuckle at the cafeteria yesterday and she totally avoided making eye contact with me. I really botched things big time. How do I fix this? Any suggestions, ladies?
    Sorry, I'm sure you're not reading this blog to hear about my personal drama.
    In other news, the Donner Party was a smashing success. We had a huge turnout and everyone loved the food - especially the Panang curry bowls. At one point, we had a flashback to the mid '90s when all the reindeer got up and did the Macarena. Since they can't stand on their hind legs, it was kind of stiff and awkward. Kind of like Al Gore's version. Still a lot of fun, though.
    Of course, as they do every year, PETA showed up at the doors of the Elf Conference Center to protest the "exploitation of reindeer" as they put it. Actually, the reindeer find it kind of insulting because they are not brainless beasts of burden (you like that alliteration there?) I mean, for heaven's sake, they can laugh, play reindeer games, shout out with glee - these are not things that normal reindeer can do. We're talking about North Pole Reindeer  - with personalities and feelings and (hello) have the ability to FLY! Do you think they would stick around if they didn't like the gig? No. They would probably work in show business - maybe have their own late night talk shows. (Speaking of which, Donner and Blitzen have an excellent comedy routine and usually do a Santa Claus roast at our annual Christmas party.)
    Anyhoo, a few of the guests started getting annoyed by all the shouting down below (the Great Ballroom is on the 14th floor) so the twins, Comet and Cupid, got an idea of how to get rid of them. They hoisted a huge bowl of poinsettia-pomegranate punch with their antlers and dumped it out the window onto the protestors below. What they didn't anticipate was that the 70 below weather turned the punch into icicle projectiles. Ouchee. Needless to say, the shouting stopped (although there was some screaming for a little while there...) and the protest ended.
    After the party, Santa Claus invited me to his personal office (which is the first time I've ever been there!) to get my input on some animatronic show he wants to put up at a Pizza Restaurant he's considering opening here on the North Pole. As we talked about the logistics of that, I looked around the room at all his souvenirs and things. He actually displays a lot of the letters he got from children that ended up being famous, like the letter he got from Elvis Presley that had a little crayon picture of a guitar on it, or the letter from Michael Jordan asking for a basketball. There was also a letter from Kate Moss with a stick figure self-portrait - at least, that's what I thought initially. On closer inspection, it was actually a recent photograph. Yikes.
    It was exciting talking to the big man himself - in his office - about this new Pizza Parlor project (look at me busting out the alliteration again!) Heaven knows we need something more to eat around here besides gingerbread and fruit cake.
    Well, that wraps it up for today (a little Christmas pun there for ya). Only 15 days until Christmas!
Cheers!
Fritz