First of all, before I say anything else, let me give a shout out to a faithful reader named Emily Bowers, who left the first comment ever on this blog! Thanks, Emily, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Let me give you an update on
yesterday’s events. First off, remember the gingerbread disaster? Well, the
batch of gingerbread dough that Peppersniff Wubblegump contaminated was about
to be thrown away when the head baker, Cookie Bingblossom, decided to dump it
out on the elf recreational field and have a gingerbread dough food fight.
Instead of snowballs, all the elves that came to the event balled up
gingerbread dough and let it fly!
Some of us made gingerbread dough
“snowmen”. The funnest part was eating
the gingerbread men! (Which kind of defeated the purpose, but…whatever.) I had
a flashback to “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” – Kalima!
Kalimaaa! (Twisted. I know.)
Everything was going great until
the dough got hard. (That’s what happens in 4°F (or -16°C)
weather.) So, unfortunately, the “doughball” fight took a terrible turn for the
worse and we had to call it quits. (It’s all fun and games until someone gets
hit in the face with a frozen ball of gingerbread dough.)
I had to take one of my buddies to
North Pole General Hospital ER and he ended up getting four stitches in the
back of his head, courtesy of Dr. Picklejinx. I myself went home with a black eye, which I treated with a
big frozen reindeer steak (they’re not all for Santa’s sleigh – hate to break
it to you).
In other news, the one suggested name for the fox that I got was “Trudy”,
but after some research into human names I discovered that “Trudy” is most
commonly a girl’s name! I don’t
want to give my little guy a complex…So, I gave him a very common human boy’s name: Quarterpockets. I think it fits him pretty
well.
This morning, at our weekly
Christmas briefing, Santa Claus came out in dark sunglasses to the song Gangnam
Style and proceeded to do the signature dance move center stage for about five
minutes – and that is a VERY long time when you are doing ONE dance move.
Urgle…You know those times where even though you’re not the one everyone’s
staring at, you still feel embarrassed? Yeah…case in point. That song is so
2012! Anyway, he received, of course, a courtesy standing ovation (seems like
an oxy moron…) and morale was officially boosted for the meeting that
proceeded.
At the meeting, Mintchuckle
Sweetcheeks was given the Outstanding Elf award (which is given out at the
beginning of all the Christmas briefings, but I have yet to get one!) for
saving Mr. Wubblegump. (I have got
to get that girl’s number!)
Finally, today is my last day of
practice before the big day. Zoiks! Tomorrow is the Elf Olympics and, as you
know, I will be competing in Snowboarding and Skijumping. I have a good feeling
about tomorrow! Here’s a picture from the most dangerous ski slope at the
resort. Yeah. I did that.
My sister, Jingletoots, is flying
in from San Francisco (not all elves live at the North Pole, you know) and will
be cheering me on with the rest of my family.
Well, again, thanks for reading.
Only 20 days until Christmas! Make sure you stay on the Nice List! You can do
it!
Cheers!
Fritz
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